Strep Throat

It's a little hard
To tell you anything
When I know
It'll ruin everything
Even when you say
It'll be okay
I'll still be sick
and you better stay away

I got Strep Throat
and I can't speak
my limbs ache
And I don't have meds with me.
My head is throbbing
and your not helping
my lungs are aching
but my heart is bleeding

Everything I swallow burns
Oh my stomach churns
I wanna throw up
But It'll only hurt worse
I keep it down
to avoid any unneeded spurs
People must stay away
unless you want to feel this way

I got Strep Throat
But it's not healing
The infection stays
it's a horrible feeling
At night when I'm sleeping
Right after you say your staying
I pray to god
You don't catch what I'm carrying.

Ugh, I used to get strep throat ALL the time when I was in 5th grade! I got it so much, I was almost used to it (God forbid!) So I can totally relate to this poem. It was witty and well written.

There almost seemed to be a subliminal side story to it that I felt I was missing. I don't know if that was your intent or not. but I might recommend focusing and elaborating on that story a little more, or just leaving it out entirely. Because it wasn't apparent enough to make a difference to me. You mingled emotional pain with a clever, and mildly funny description on sickness. Generally speaking, those two don't mingle. But you can make it work if you illustrated them both more equally, or expressing the pain more deeply.

Just my two cents. Otherwise, I really liked this! Good job! :)